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Denver GauntletSo much history! Veeps is more than a bestselling book and blockbuster motion picture. There’s mirth, mystery, and the story of our nation. veeps-blog

Read along about the journey of Bill and Wayne and the rich tapestry of America’s second-highest elected office. Still and often fetid waters really do run deep. Set aside a weekend and take it all in–the sage of Bill and Wayne’s friendship and shared obsession; the bruising battle for the 47th Vice Presidency in 2008, from the frozen cornfields of Iowa to Inauguration Day 2009; to the rogues, drunks, cowards, and the downtrodden who have occupied the office for over 200 years. Over 220+ posts and counting! Grab a beverage and pull up a chair. There’s lots to learn here!

Nice Presidency

After years of sitting idly by watching Bill tear off one piece of strange after another, it looked for a few moments last night like Hillary might have a shot at some hot, hot extramarital action. The Barry White soundtrack was missing, but Hillary and Obama buried the hatchet Thursday at the Kodak Theater and appeared almost ready to make some funky love, not war. Okay, it wasn’t all Mandingo or Guess Who’s Coming
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McCained

It takes good genes and a patrician’s bearing to manage to continue to look good while you’re getting beaten around the ring like a last-second stand-in on the undercard. For a man being pummeled silly with his own money belt and the bottomless box of rocks of every position he’s ever held on every marquee Republican issue, you could barely see Mitt Romney sweat, even as he hemmed, hawed, flapped his arms, and walked
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Mitt Out Of Luck (or “Goodbye-Rudy Tuesday”)

The bad news for the GOP is that they lost all the Republican hairdressers tonight. Mitt Romney was the best potential hair apparent the Grand Old Party has had since their impossible 1988 choice between the fabulous coiffures of Jack Kemp and Pete DuPont, and what could have been the best hairstyle of any Republican nominee ever (with the exception of Wendell Willkie [pictured at right], who won a then-record 22.3 m
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Stale To The Chief

In the gamut of Presidential oratory, John F. Kennedy’s “Ask Not” speech still owns a comfortable spot at one end of the spectrum. After the 2008 State Of The Union, we have a new effort on the other end with George Bush’s “Ask….Nahhh” entry. In his last term at junior college, while his grades may be abysmal, his instructors are tired of his lazy, dunderheaded, chimpanzee mien darkening their classrooms and he’s sti
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Ru-talitory Strike

There’s no suspense left in the Giuliani Campaign. His all-the-marbles Florida Firewall strategy wasn’t up to code and erupted in flames. Never mind the poll numbers, which consistently had him fighting the similarly-flailing Mike Huckabee for fourth place, it was already a very bad portent last week when he invited his supporters to work the phones for him in the Sunshine State–as long as they were willing to bring
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Don’t Go Barackan My Heart

I feel so dirty. I don’t usually do this. Honestly, this isn’t the way my parents brought me up. After watching Barack Obama’s victory speech in South Carolina last night, I felt like that poor embarrassed girl, looking around a strange bedroom for her underwear at 7:00 AM, her suitor having left for the office or an early lacrosse game, leaving a Yoplait and an apple on the nightstand with a note, “Had to run. Nice
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No Country For Old Men

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t remember any Ensure ads during the last Democratic debate on MSNBC. I couldn’t help feeling during Thursday night’s Republican debate like I should hang my head in equal measures of shame and respect as I was undergoing a thorough dressing-down by The Legion Of Dads. “I don’t give a good goddamn if all the other kids are against the war. It’s the right thing to do. If the other kids walke
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Baby You Can Drive My War

I always liked those old World War II movies where bright-eyed Jimmy stifled his tears and said goodbye to Mom and Dad at the train station, and not to worry about him, because he was going off to fight for Uncle Sam. I always wanted to go off and fight for Uncle Sam, but I came of age in the wrong era. I thought I had my chance to fight for my country when we stormed Grenada, but it was over before I found the neare
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“Soy Mitt Romney, y soy un bolso del douche.”

For all the Spanish-speaking Florida voters who have been bristling at the 2008 Model Mitt Romney barking at them, “English! Hablé it or get out!”–never mind the Americans wondering if they might get sent to Guantanamo under a Romney Administration if someone reports that Buena Vista Social Club CD in their collection–it must have been a bit jarring at the end of the bright, shining, inclusive Presidential campaign a
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Controlled Demo-lition

In the grand Democratic tradition of Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, and John Kerry, the Democrats seem determined once again to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory as this year’s front-runners beat one another bloody in the run-up to a fight that should be as much a lock as the first Mike Tyson-Buster Douglas fight. And we all know how that turned out. In just a few shorts weeks, the Democrats have gone from “The Polit
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Will Someone Get This Man A Cigar And An Intern, Please?

With Ginormous Testicle Tuesday (or whatever they’re calling it this week) looming, if Hillary is going to seize the nomination, her campaign managers have to step up as they never have before. It’s one thing to protect your candidate from people and events without, but it’s quite another to protect them from people and events within–as anyone who handled Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, or Neil Bush will tell you. Going
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Fred Man Walking

The invitations were printed on neatly-embossed “FRED ‘08″ black matte cards and the beer was stacked up inside the hotel ballroom. This was supposed to be Fred Thompson’s inaugural win in the 2008 GOP Primary and the Thompson faithful were gearing up for an South Carolina barnburner to celebrate. Much of the GOP slate (and even Barack Obama) have spent the campaign fighting with shovels over Ronald Reagan’s grave, s
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Romney Wins Nevada Caucus; “Suspicious” Trucks Stopped at Utah Border

(Reprinted from wire reports) The political world was stunned Saturday morning when, barely after 10:00 AM PST, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was declared the winner in the Nevada Republican Presidential Caucus, only hours after Nevada residents had begun to gather to cast their vote. The victory itself wasn’t stunning, as Romney and Texas Congressman Ron Paul were alone among their GOP competitors as hav
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Dubious Moments in Primary History: “New Hampshire – 1972: ‘The Canuck Letter’”

There’s no crying in baseball, as Tom Hanks once said, and since there’s no baseball in Maine (excepting, of course, the great Irv Ray), Maine Senator Edmund Muskie apparently never got the memo. The 1972 Presidential Race and possibly the course of history turned on March 7, 1972, when Democratic Presidential front-runner Ed Muskie held a press conference in front of the Manchester Union Leader in Manchester, New Ha
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GOP Unites, Promises Not To Go Positive

I consider myself a good American. As a lifelong political observer, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness and even anger at my country after watching the Democrats in Nevada on Tuesday night dragging this election out of the mud of spirited engagement and taking a bare-knuckles campaign–a campaign that was at last devoting itself to character assassination, innuendo, race-baiting, reinforcing sexist stereotyp
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McCain Accepts Michigan Setback, Boards the ‘Straight-Talk Express’ for South Carolina

After a stunning rout Tuesday night by Michigan’s favorite son, Mitt Romney, John McCain was gracious in defeat, congratulating his victorious opponent, and commending voters for their thoughtful and deliberative assessment of the candidates. Though McCain had been confident of a victory in a state where he won convincingly in 2000, he voiced his respect for the process and spoke admiringly of the campaign waged by h
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Mouse of PAIN!!!

Are you ready to RUMM-BLLLLLE? He’s tiny, he’s whitey, he’s mighty. His mind engages, his presence enrages. He’s wiry, fiery, inspirey. He bobs, he weaves, his people believe. He captivates, castigates, instigates and irritates. He’s the Irish-Croatian Sensation. HERE HE IS AMERICA: 5′7″ OF KVETCHING, JUG-EARED CLEVELAND FURRRRR-YYYYY………Dennis Kucinich. And you’ll never hear this most feared famous short man since Ro
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Stupid Tuesday

Twelve days after Iowa, 7 days after “It’s Obama’s To Lose-Day Tuesday”, 14 days before “Rudy’s Retired New York Jews Day Tuesday” (you remember–that “Florida Firewall”South Beach retirees hokum) and 21 days before the much-vaunted “Super Tuesday”/”Tsunami Tuesday”/”Giga Tuesday”/”Snooze Day Tuesday”, as Fred Thompson will surely be caught nodding off at several public appearances and, if McCain finds a way to win bo
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Gerry Girl, Part 2

So in 1984, while my friends in the dorm were abusing themselves to pictures of Vanessa Williams and Heather Locklear, I was adorning my dorm room with pictures of Gerry Ferraro with Walter Mondale cut out. No, don’t even go there. I had too much respect for Gerry to degrade myself like that to her pictures. In fact I even hung a shirt over her posters before I dropped my bath towel. But I was off on the strangest bu
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Gerry Girl, Part 1

So, I didn’t have my “Live Free or Cry” post on Hillary up eight minutes before one of my ex-girlfriends emails me and tells me I haven’t changed–that I’m the same sexist miscreant I always was (no, it wasn’t Kacie, and I can’t say who it is because her uncle is a District Attorney with umpteen law buddies, and she’s still so bitter that every few months she gets a few glasses of wine in her and pokes me with a stick
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Unwinna-Bill

I’m a man of very few, but very passionate convictions. I believe that gun owners who invoke the 2nd Amendment are lunatics, yet I believe that Americans have the right–and, in fact, even owe it to themselves–to drag some serious firepower out to a desolate rock quarry every now and then and just shoot the crap out of things. I believe that there’s nothing wrong with betting on a 10-1 long shot in the fourth race if
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Gonna Break My Rusty Cage

It was deja vu all over again for Arizona Senator John McCain as he repeated his 2000 trouncing of George Bush, dismantling both Iowa victor Mike Huckabee and vapid, politically-confused GOP money train and erstwhile New England neighborhood favorite, Mitt Romney, and once again staking his claim in a state little bigger than the infamous compound where he was held as a prisoner of the Vietnam War. And once again, Mc
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Rudy Can Fail

Much has been made of Rudy Giuliani’s “Florida Firewall” strategy, and it may yet pay off, despite the mixed results of his “9/11″ strategy in the race’s early contests (though he appeared every bit the political savant Tuesday in New Hampshire, coming in with between 9 and 11 percent of the vote [and coming within a nose of having to pick up Ron Paul’s dry cleaning for him]). The campaign hasn’t been an easy one for
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Sometimes It’s Hard To Beat A Woman

Tammy Wynette said that almost forty years ago. Whenever I hear those aching, poignant words, I can relate to what Barack Obama is feeling tonight in New Hampshire as his nonexistent, then unlikely, then insurmountable, then withering lead against Hillary Rodham Clinton disappears like so much New Hampshire snow at the coming of spring. Why? Because it reminds me of my days in the rough-and-tumble world of inter-gend
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“Live Free or Cry”

Whether out of sheer exhaustion or a last-minute Hail Mary to prevent the Obama Juggernaut from flattening the Hillary Jugger-not, Senator Clinton yesterday in one fell swoop destroyed an image, carefully cultivated over decades, that she’s a cyborg who bleeds gear oil. The cynics were quick to pounce on her primary-eve meltdown–where she shed apparently-real tears and alluded to a heretofore-elusive organic humanity
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Hillary addresses supporters, congratulates Obama, takes scissors to sleeping Bill’s genitals

As the cameras rolled, Clinton was joined by her rock star husband and a cast of Democratic characters that included a Madeline Albright looking like Andy Rooney in drag, Newt Gingrich’s skinnier twin brother, and an unidentified gentleman who may or may not have been the product of a William Baldwin-Fred Ward pregnancy. Taking a page from her husband’s 1992 campaign playbook, the third-place Hillary Clinton tried to
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Eight Men Out There

Coming off a humbling finish in Iowa, Mitt Romney rebounded in…well, he rebounded by capturing the votes of the majority of everyone in Wyoming who remembered they were having a caucus yesterday. He is now the proud owner of eight Wyoming delegates. Fred Thompson scored his first big victory in the 2008 race, thanks to a Mr. & Mrs. Kyle Herlihy of Rock Springs who are both big “Law & Order” fans, and jump-sta
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Obama Nation!

“Fee-Fi-Mo-Mama…” The African-American community is rejoicing this evening, having finally shaken off the yoke that the oily opportunist Jesse Jackson and allegedly-deranged Alan Keyes put on America’s hopes for a viable black Presidential contender. Young, smart, chick-friendly, and charismatic Barack Obama–given up for dead and a pallid would-be Kennedy just weeks ago–has won his party’s first test for 2008. The ra
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Great Moments in Presidential Campaign History

January 4, 2008: Hillary Clinton graciously concedes defeat in a spirited first contest of the 2008 Presidential season.
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